What's that, Furcadia?

Tonight, there was a Memorial that started at Eight PM FST for Adema. A lot of her friends showed up and had a lot of nice things to say about her.

If you weren’t able to attend, here is a log of everything that was said about her:

[#] Okay.. As we all know, all of us are gathered in this dream, to pay respects to our lost friend, Amber. Amber Nicole Gokey. As you can see by the number of people in this dream, she was known and loved by many.
[#] Her time with is is something that I would hope we all hold as a close memory to our hearts. And to keep as a reminder a fact that is very true, and that many of us forget until it is too late. Life, is far too short.
[#] Amber would have been happy to know that this many people have come, for her. She would have been happy to see some of us even sitting in the same room with eachother. I think she would have also been sad, though, to know that this is what it took for this to happen.
[#] She was a wonderful person all around. She cared about many, many people. One thing that I am sure many of you would have to agree with, and that I have been hearing people say, is that Amber was capable of loving people, even beyond their flaws. That takes a very kind heart to do, the kind of heart that Amber had.
[#] We all have stories to tell, or maybe something we would like to say about Amber. Or maybe something we would have liked to say to Amber before she left us. That is what we are here for today – To pay our last respects, together like this, to do what little we can to show Amber how dearly she was loved, and how greatly she will be misse.d
[#] To start, Matt (Domino) has a poem written in dedication to her, that I will post for us to read..
[#] “Madam, Surely You Jest” by Matt Boyd (Domino)
[#] My Jester woman rushed out today – Too busy to talk or say ‘good day’ – But Jester woman I have so much – You have never heard, didn’t hold, touch
[#] So, make me laugh to stop these tears – Or hold me up to quiet these fears – Oh, Jester woman come make me see – How beautiful the world can be.
[#] And why she ran, I’ll just never know – She must had somewhere she had to be – For she always had some place to go – A party to attend, to bring glee
[#] My Jester woman may be far from me – But not in a place my heart cannot see
[#] A heartfelt poem, truly beautiful. Thank you Domino..
[#] Next emitlouds will be from Julie/Confetti. Her words for Amber..
[#] I’m Julie, or Confetti. I’ve come as Evanescence because when Amber and I were together, I used Ev and she used Alisaadi. I dated Amber back when I was fifteen and she was seventeen. She didn’t change much after that. Always the same old Amber. We didn’t speak for nearly two, maybe even three years after the break-up. Amber and I had many arguments, including on Furcadia, as it was my idea for her to begin playing this game. Despite all the hate and time I missed in her final days, I am truly regretful for her early death. She took a small portion of my heart with her. I hope with all of me that she is in a better place.
[#] If anyone else would like to share over emitloud, please Whisper Turq.
[#] That’s all I have left to say. We can only go on and keep her in our memories. -Julie/Confetti
[#] From Rand: Ambear. My dear Amburglar. I know you won’t hear this, but saying this, here, now, is.. It’s the best I can do. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were together, I’m sorry for how it ended, I’m sorry for how shitty of a friend I was after we broke up. I’m sorry for telling you you were on your own, that I wouldn’t support you. You loved me, in spite of who I was, in spite of the way I treated everybody around me
[#] I owe you a lot for showing me a better side of myself, and for showing me that, in spite of who I was, there was something worth loving there. I’ll miss you. You deserved better than you got, from me, and from all of the people who treated you badly, who hurt you, I loved you, I honestly did, and losing you, as the great friend you were…
[#] I’ll miss you. I don’t have the words to express how much, but.. You made a difference to me, and to a lot of people. Goodbye, Amburglar. ~Rand
[#] Anything you have to say, be it short or long, feel free to say it now.. *Collects whispers*
[#] From Stacey/Coil/Chemical: The one thing I’ll truly miss about Amber is her voice. I’m an auditory oriented person and so sound plays a vital role in my life. The way she spoke, the sound of her laugh, the way she said words like pickles and chicken nuggets — was all too amusing to me.
[#] The one thing that drives me to tears and strikes pain my heart is hearing her voice echo in my head. I miss her so much, and I’m so VERY glad that she and I made amends before her passing. I’ll forever cherish every good and bad moment we had for they have played a paramount role in shaping who I am today.
[#] She’s now an angel with wings capable of touching the souls of those who need her most. She can now perch upon rainbows and touch the sunlit skies. She will never know again pain, never shed another tear, for she’s bathed in eternal salvation and basked in the warmth of heaven.
[#] Dance, sweet Amber. Dance like you’ve never danced before and shine brighter than any star. You deserved more than you got. I’ll forever love you and miss you.
[#] From Tokoya: I’m Anna, also known as Tokoya(many of you probably already know me). In recent times, Amber and I weren’t as close as we once were, but she still held a great portion of my heart from the time where we were nearly inseperable friends. She always knew how to make me laugh and could cheer me up after a bad day, and I’d do my best to return what I was given and make her laugh too(Crab battle, anyone?). I will miss her terribly, but I won’t let my grief keep me down. I will live for her.
[#] From Cigar: Amber would have been delighted to see everyone who showed up today. This small gesture would mean the absolute world to her. Some of the people here and some who aren’t here have regrets but friends, there is no room for regret in the heart or the memory of someone so dearly loved. I loved the way she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, never faltered in the face of “haters”, and loved her friends until it hurt. We should all live as Amber did – to the fullest. I love you Amber. Rest peacefully, darling. HRT
[#] From Rip: Ambr0r, I wish I had made more time to talk to you… Since I left Furcadia I lost contact with many people, and I always thought about talking to you next time you came online, and I didn’t. I’m sorry for that, and I miss you. You were always a joy. Your friend, Kyle.
[#] In Dedication to Amber, from Nickeh..
[#] From Domino: Amber was the sunshine in my day. No matter what had happened between Amber, soon she would have forgave me and acted like nothing had happened between her and I. I met Amber probably when was 13 or 14 (I am 18 now) and she has had impact on my life ever since. Amber witnessed me before my drug abuse, she knew the true me. For that I am really glad. She stuck by me through all of my issues, and watched me spiral down. Amber tried to help me back up but I didn’t want to be helped. For that, I am sorry, Amber. There were many feeling Amber and I had off and on between each other that were mostly instigated by me. The biggest regret I have right now is that I didn’t get the chance to say I was sorry, and that I loved her more than she could image. I love you Amber. I miss you. – Matty
[#] Sorry for slowness everyone, lots of messages to post.
[#] From Sihlo: I’m Jessica/Sihlo. Like Julie, I knew Amber irl. We’d been close friends for nearly ten years. I have been racking my brain all day trying to think of what I would say tonight, but no words can express my heartache at losing not only one of my best friends, but also my sister. No, Amber and I were not blood-sisters, but that’s just how close we were. We got along and even fought like sisters. So, the only thing I can think of to post, is the Bible scripture that was read at her funeral yesterday.
[#] Thessalonians 4:13-18 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming on the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord (and our precious Amber) forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.
[#] Next is from Gage:
[#] Amber, There is nothing I can say or do now to be able to truly express how I feel at this point and time. I can’t stop crying, I cry when I hear about you, say your name, and even think about it. I just.. can’t grasp the fact that you’re gone and I’m not to the point of forgiving myself for it either. To know that because I was jealous and mad at you for doing certain things, that I put myself away from you for a goodwhile, just because I couldnt accept things that you were doing and how you upset me for a day. It upsets me even more to know that I saw you days before your death and never stood up to the plate like a man to say I was sorry for the way I had treated you. I will never be able to tell you how thankful I am for having such an amazing friend as you, one that I could just sit down and talk to for hours at a time just because. All those time we joked around and said we were married with donut rings and all the times we said we loved each other.
[#] I really don’t know if your feelings were serious, but mine were. I did like you and I think you knew that, considering how I acted around you. Probably why I was such a jealous prick. But, none of that matters now. You were an amazing person and anyone who realized that will never forget you. There’s not alot more I can say, because I can’t seem to get my feelings into words at this point, I don’t think anyone can. So heres to you Amber, my Donut ring lover. We love you. – Gage.
[#] from Vael Victus: I didn’t know her well, but I feel I should say something. I wasn’t known for being a nice guy on Furc, but from what I remember, she was never mean to me. Always wanted to calm any problems if there were any. She will be missed.
[#] From Neener: It will never cease to amaze me how little people on the outside comprehend. While all this is going on, this strange and wonderful gathering of people I’ve never met before, best friends, and people I’ve not spoken to in ages, my parents are watching Family Guy on the big-screen and shouting for me to start getting ready for bed. Another big school day tomorrow; whatever I’m doing on the computer in “Furcadia Land” is just another make-believe game. The fact that they will never know how wrong they are distresses me. Just a few weeks ago she signed on and I told her how much I missed her through whispers. As we parted, I ordered her to sign on more often and I told her that I loved her, and that was the last thing she ever heard from me.
[#] There were times when I felt like I had to be away from the stress of the now faulty lines of friendship, because things change. I am only 15, and I was even younger then, ending junior high and heading into High School. She would come with me, and we would talk. She didn’t take sides and I loved her for it, more than she would ever know. I’ll cut it short now, because I’ve already said too much – I love you, Amber. That was the last thing I got to say to you and it still rings true. Rest in Peace, DJ Collide. -Neener/Catorce/Mevon
[#] From Steph: I never had the deepest connection like some people here did with Amber, but she was always the wall behind me. It’s remarkable to have someone that devoted to her friends. Despite the fact I had quit furcadia for a number of months, and I was hard to reach otherwise, Amber and I communicated through livejournal comments, and she was always supportive. I found it remarkable that someone I barely talked to deeply and thoroughly would still empathize for my plights, and care. Amber was truly a sweet girl, its redundant to say she will not be forgotten, as it’s always impossible to forget someone who gave you unconditional love.
[#] From Procyon: Amber, though certainly many people knew you better than I. I see the light of your life shining through so many people whom I call my dearest friends, and know that light is a reflection of the beauty and grace that you as a person held. Though I feel their sadness with them, I know that the light you gave them will never dim.
[#] From Turquoise: I wish I knew what to say or how to handle this Amber. I’ve done my part to help gather people here today, I set up this dream, me and Gin finished your portrait, and I still just don’t really feel like its happening. We had stopped talking, just because of the direction both our lives were going, but I will always remember the fun we had talking on the conf. I can’t stop hearing your voice, in your southern accent going “Why” because I liked how you pronounced it.. And I find myself also just asking, “Why?” .. I want to show you screeenshots from this dream, and show you all the art I should have finished for you in the first place, but I can’t. I love you amber, I will miss you.. ~ Turq <3
[#] From Gin/Decline: Amber, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life. I remember when I first met you. I was horribly frightened of you at first. After the time we spent together, the closer we became, I learned that there was nothing to be afraid of. You always came off as a bit@ aggressive, I guess. It’s just one of the many sides of you I’ve learned about and come to love and respect.
[#] You made me come to this game. You encouraged me to draw and often pushed me to always improve and do better. I remember being on the phone with you and laughing at my old art and talking about how much it sucked. I remember how we’d stay up late on the phone talking about everything we could possibly think of. Telling secrets, talking about our recent crushes, our heartbreaks, it could be anything and you’d always be there for me and I always worked hard on being able to be there for you.
[#] There were times when we didn’t get along. Our catfights seem so dumb now. I’m glad we made up when we did. I’m glad that we were friends. That we met. You were always there for me when I needed you. You always made an effort to keep an eye out for me. I’ll never forget who you are and what you mean to me. Amber, you’re my best friend, my lesbian lover and I’ll never forget how you hated the color yellow and yet it was one of the main colors Adema had. <3 Gin
[#] Turq: This portrait is one Amber commissioned me to do a long time ago. I never finished it, and I don’t know why, and looking at it now reminds me of how short life is. I knew it was long overdue even before she died, and had asked Gin/Decline to help me finish it, by coloring it. She will never get to see what we made for her ..
[#] And also, just the last time Gin and I had been on the phone with her, I had made a portrait art for her, meant to show her that I had not forgotten her and just.. to give her SOMETHING extra to start making up for everything I owed her. This is what I tried to show her, just before my computer crashed and when I came back she was gone.
[#] And Decline just gave me the port to show in ebtter quality. <3
[#] Anything from anyone else?
[#] A banner made for Amber, by Tokoya.
[#] If theres nothing else anyone would like to share, then I would say the ceremony can be considered wrapped up. Feel free to stay in the dream as long as you like, it will stay open as long as someone is here. Thank you all for coming, Amber would be happy to see you all.

I didn’t say anything at the memorial, but I’d like to pass along my condolences to the people who were directly, and indirectly affected by this tragedy. I hope you all remember that s’long as we remember them, nobody is ever really gone from our lives.

Death happens, but it doesn’t have to be the end of a memory. There was light brought into your lives, and now it’s gone. The residual sparks, though, still flicker along in your memories. Don’t let them die out.